Saturday, April 16, 2005
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~~~ bye blog ~~~
well, i have thought about it and its hard. but. this will be my last entry.
the result shocked me. juz couldn't believe it...when everybody was telling us its definitely a gold, or at least a gold.. yet the result was far from wat we deserve. still its the fact, thankz to the judges, wateva u all 've given us, we will treat it like shit. we know we r good, whoever out there, go ahead and say nymd is lousy, the true gold is never afraid of fire.
cried and cried, not only becoz of the result. becoz i m losing everything. all that i've tried so hard to get and now, wateva it is, its juz gone with the wind, so sudden that its so hard for me to accept. ..
Everything is back to square one. i m still the same old, pathetic me. For once i thought life is gonna be different for me, but now, i m , again losing everyone, everything, everything....what seemed so wonderful in the past is juz gone like that, nobody understands. so small, so unimportant, so lonely, so fake, so tiring, so dumb, so useless, so useless. well, maybe its juz my pathetic fate, maybe i shall juz go anti-social and stay on my own little
island.
look back and ask myself what i have achieved in my life. well. i can say. None.
bye people bye blog
plus 1 < 5:43 PM
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Sunday, April 10, 2005
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Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
-Greenday
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone and I walk up
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
Ah..ah..
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive And I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk up
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
Ah..ah..
I walk alone and I walk up
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk up
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone...
plus 1 < 5:29 PM
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
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~~~ THANKZ FOR THE SHIT ~~~
The world has become so FUCKINGLY unfriendly to me. Like thankew everybody for the criticise, before u think it makes me better, the chance is that i m NUMB abt them first. All the things juz become such bloody horseshit that i nv feel so helly useless b4. A person who's a gangantuan IDIOT like me shld nv exist on earth and compete for breath with others, hell suits me more. SYF is driving me nuts, raj can u pls kick me out so i dun need to be criticized ALL the TIME coz i dance like holy shit! I dun fee lyke going to sch to see that fucking face that makes me PUKE. stop ur freaky comments that r UNTRUE and pls keep ur goddamn mouth SHUT. I m so bloody sick of ur biasness, fine, pick on me, more and more, be unfair to me, go on till u r juz a piece of DIRT in the air that pollutes the air to me. FINE go ahead and say that i m a useless rotting human who can't take failure, like as if i give a damn. I dun wanna tok to pple, dun wanan see pple, dun wanna study and get stupider everyday dun wanna go to sch dun wanna go for cca dun wanna dance dun wanna open my eyes and see the ugly reality dun wanna open my mouth and say things that nobody care dun wanna live...FK OFF and let me DIE
plus 1 < 3:28 PM
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Friday, March 25, 2005
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~~~ when can u STOP forcing me !??? ~~~
well, gd friday, gd day. watched 2 movies in a day. Hitch and Miss congeniality. Both rocked, but hitch is more funni.
there r like so much things i need to do but dun feel lyke doing. yeah i m freee and boreeddd unlike busy pple out there. i had been pigging out recently, thankz to helen ma and xiyu and whoever who forced me to put food into my mouth. THANKZ A LOT MAN! = =
SYF is coming and the costume is somehow errr sexy? but i believe we can grab that shiny gold with honour, jiayou pple!
plus 1 < 10:05 PM
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
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~~ OBS :))) JUNKO I LURV YOU!!!! ~~
so eagerly logged on to blogger and now i dunno wat to blog. to be exact, wat to start with.
like 5 days juz ZOOMmmed by and now i m back on my forever-sitting-on-it chair in front of my forever-cursing-at-it com with my forever-pressing pressing pressing hp on the table. yeah i m back home. YEt i missed obs like anything. Can't help crying after reaching hm yesterday, it felt so empty to be alone. i miss junko,obs.
So, i shall at least start on the whole thing so that 1 yr ahead i will still have this fantastic memory on my mind. ok everything started with getting into that old cum dirty cum pathetic boat to Pulah UBin with my super gigantic bag and walking to the campsite, complaining to go home. Yet the lucky thing was that all the JUNKOers are 301ers X)) so that made me feel better! but after seeing the slping place and the camp water bottles used practically by everyone, i m praying that the 5 days can juz fly pass. To be honest, i thought our instructor JON was some fierce fierce boring guy, yet he turned out SO ROCKY! ok, the 5 days
1) pitched tents and be the twine gur cutting twines
2) kayaked with huang ah rong for 4 hrs and became salt fishes (xian yu) aka being the first to capsize and had to be deep sea rescued by jon
3)screaming at huang ah rong to turn left turn right and paddling like a mad mad woman
3) stucked at the muddy beach and can't move the kayak at all, stuck my whole foot inside the mud and kayaked on with half a leg totally grey in colour
4) bladder bursting due to not wanting to mass-pee in the sea; had to pee in the bushes with mei nu dear
5) having a great time in the dark cooking and opening can food, eating in mass tin at the same time feeding the mosquitoes
6) trecked with a at-least-25kg gagantuan bag on my back and almost died carrying the jerry tank with jieying
7) addicted to throwing bottle caps,WHEN YOU-ing, laughing at having heart attackts while showing to jon
8)building the raft and having our hands all robe-burnt
9)happied to death when finally can jump into the quarry and wash away all the salts
10) booing at lame joke and those lame names he created for the activities,listening to his mearningful talks after every activity and the inspiring quotations in the morning circle, freaked out by his i-very-angry face when we were late
11)trying to hide the surprise prezzi for him and saw him ehem, lifting his already-mini-enuf shorts and scratching his ehem very upper tighs (think straight pple)
12)rock climbing and almost made marilyn T fly ; seeing poor qun yuan in panic zone struggling not to fly up
13)seeing jolene and marilyn and and yi bing working like Boxer, jieying, meijiao and rachel singing she' will be loved. LOOK FOR THE GUR WITH THE BROKEN SMILE!
14)trying to be as calm as cool jessamin and got comforted by jolene, qun yuan and lu ting be4 solo night walk
14)totally freaked out during the SOLO night walk, singing qi li xiang and walking at 1.5m per step.
15)pitching tents and feeling so man trying to pull the pax (or wateva ) out *show muscles* hehehe
16)Mushing and flirting with mei nu dear all the way and laughing at her red lips!
17)feeling zi bei coz of Poony's powerful england
18belaying rachel and squinting my eyes into 2 lines.
19) teasing at Jon's age and planning for his fake birthday
20) getting so excited at our first meal on table with demure helen serving drinks for us
21)singing Linkin park's songs with jieying while trecking althought our arms almost breaking carrying the tank
22)getting mosquitoe bites all over and turning into charcoal after lobsterlisation
23)saying bye and hugging lilttle mei jiao, half squating XP
24))struggling not to cry on the boat back when chatting with li wen and rachel.
25))missing FION, our dear grp pet X(( fion, fion fion, fion fion fion!
yeah looking at the above u may juz think obs is so tiring and tough and everything, but we all gained so much, learnt so much that will never be possible if we were juz to stay in sch and continue to be Nerdified. wat li wen said is so true, the sch is juz turning everybody intomugging machines, everybody oni cared abt herself, her results, the cny decoration was so pathetic coz pple dun wanna help out. but look at the camp, everybody juz dumped all their packing to help out, also helping other grps to pitch tents. so bonded, so united. study study test test, high marks.so wat? will we carry wateva knowledge learnt on lesson with us forever in our future life? or will we remember wat Jon taught us,after all the hardships and fun we went through together, all those life philosophies better? now we r back to civilisation again, maybe all that in obs will fade away slowily, but it will forever be there in my heart, junko, jon, everyone, all that we'v been through, it will nv be forgottened...
thank you xiao jun, thank you jieying, thank you huang rong, thank you rachel, thank you yi bing, thank you li wen, thank you mei jiao, thank you helen, thank you marilyn T, thank you jolene, thank you qun yuan, thank you lu ting, thank you diane, thank you jessamin, thank you marilyn P and of course thank you lamey jon!!! X)
I LURV OBS, I LURV JUNKO, I WANNA GO BACK!!!!!!!!
plus 1 < 12:13 AM
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005
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~~~ shuddup ~~~
I took 15min to log in coz i forgot my password, FGS, i seriously need to update. listening to shuddup now, suits me, coz i m damn PISSED lahhhh
In my previous entry i wrote i will fail blah blah blah rite, ALL come true =) maybe i shld seriously go and be a fortune teller. ok, i shall not tok abt grades coz honestly, i think i will be on the way to being a mugger if this wateva grade shit thing stays in my glue-filled head.
OK now i shall say y i m pissed. like, it may be a small matter to u lah but, i m still pissed u see. well, *forgive me for my ego-ness and kiasu-ness lah* i got 1st for last yr's lower sec compo competition, no joke lah, though u can look at my face and say VERY FUNNI, but seriously lor, i got 1st. and guess wat, my compo is NOT inside that monage cum xue er book lah! it had always been like 1st 2nd 3rd all inside for godness sake and like e 2nd and 3rd all inside can, and mine's NOT, so not! ok, go ahead and say i m ego or wateva shit, but accept it lah, if u were me, u willl also feel unfair kz? X(((
ohh, LSS changed our sits...i m both :) and :( coz my partner is like a super math pro, but super duper uber quiet!!! its like living in hell for me diz kinda talkative person can!!!!!!!! o man o man!!! one day i will turn zi bi...
well, i realise i had been complaining and complaing and soon i will turn into an ah ma who pts at and scolds at everything she see so i shall learn to love my life. ALL TESTS OVER!!! for this term.. but phew i can finally sit down and blog! shall not care abt e flunking matter. my knee injury is getting betta no need surgury =) and OBS's coming but the stupid....ARGHhhhghhhhhhh stupid stupid idiot!! i m so not gonna enjoy my OBS
helly blood. i hate X!!!
ok dats all, see ya after obs. after i've become a charcoal-cum-lobster human being. byeeeeeeeeeee
plus 1 < 5:33 PM
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Friday, February 18, 2005
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~~~ bloody hell ~~~~
shall update on my pathetic life
flunk/going to flunk: physics quiz, bio test, math test, physics test, german test, SPA
wad i m going to look at stone at: physics ws, bio asssignment, ss assignment, proposals,
1st time in my life i feel so useless, y muz languish in such a state of severe stupidity and retardness man! i m so freakingly frustrated. gosh. i highly suspect i can be promoted to HC. wats e pt of studying hard 4 an already pigified brain like mine? no point.
plus 1 < 7:03 PM
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